The entire idea that you can ‘detox’ your system has been championed and ridiculed in almost equal measure. Proponents believe that we can speed up the body’s detoxification process and benefit from better sleep, clearer skin, weight loss, improved digestion, and reduced inflammation. For weed users, a good detox can clear their system of THC and help them pass an employee drug test!
Meanwhile, naysayers suggest that the entire detox industry is a complete scam. In their opinion, the body performs a natural detox, although you may be able to aid the process by reducing your intake of processed foods, exercising more, and consuming more water.
Related article: Test Yourself! Try Our Online THC Calculator
Regardless of where you stand on the issue, we are not helping ourselves! For example, Los Angeles residents guzzle expensive green juice to ‘detox.’ That’s all fine and well, but LA’s air is the most polluted in the United States! You would be as well off to avoid the green juice and use the money you save to move out of the city.
There are thousands of detox methods, and while you have doubtless heard of the most popular, we have found five ways to detox the body that you’re probably not familiar with. Disclaimer: We do NOT guarantee the effectiveness of any of the methods we outline below, especially for those looking to remove THC from their system.
1 – Activated Charcoal
This is a form of charcoal with an enormous surface area and an extremely strong negative charge. It has been used for thousands of years and believe it or not, even modern hospitals still occasionally use it to help patients that have been poisoned. Charcoal binds to chemicals so long as their molecules also have negative charges. In theory, when the chemicals attach to the charcoal, you will expel them through your feces.
It is potentially good news for marijuana users, because up to 65% of THC is expelled via your fecal matter. This is why so many weed smokers consume fruit pectin, as it is a natural fiber that should force THC out through their stool.
Now for the bad news. There is no evidence that activated charcoal is useful when consumed daily. Furthermore, there is scant scientific backing for the suggestion that activated charcoal removes toxins outside of the GI tract. Indeed, there is evidence that activated charcoal binds to vitamins, so in theory it could remove them from your system. Most detox drinks don’t have enough charcoal in them to make a difference in any case, so you use it at your own discretion.
2 – Tongue Scraping
This Ayurvedic practice involves using a tongue scraper to remove various toxins and is extremely effective at reducing tongue residue. For the record, you need a special tongue scraper for this method to be effective. It is a bent metal stick which has a flat surface in the center that’s used for the scraping action. When you wake up in the morning, a significant level of plaque is attached to your tongue. Although we brush our teeth, scraping the tongue is a better way to remove bacteria.
Where there is plaque, there are toxins. When you remove the offending bacteria, you benefit from fresh breath and, as you are constantly removing the plaque, there is less chance of tooth decay. If you are a marijuana user, tongue scraping could help you pass a saliva test but is unlikely to help you with a urinalysis.
3 – Grapetox
It is believed that Ukrainians were among the first to use grapes as a detox method back in the 19th century. In the 1920s, an author named Johanna Brandt wrote The Grape Cure and claimed that grapes cured her stomach cancer. Consuming grapes and drinking grape juice soon became a fad with ‘Grape Resorts’ opening across Europe! If you check out those special detox drinks that claim to help you pass marijuana tests, they are often in grape flavor.
Alas, Doctor Stephen Barrett all but exploded the idea that grapes are capable of curing cancer, although they could help reduce the risk of being exposed to certain cancer types. For the record, the grape detox diet involves consuming nothing but grapes and water for three days. If you decide to take a chance on this detox method, please note that you could suffer side effects such as constipation, headaches, and dizziness.
4 – The Werewolf Diet
Also known as the ‘Moon Diet Plan,’ the Werewolf Diet is one of the strangest detox methods we have ever heard of. Incredibly, it involves timing your cleanse to correspond with lunar cycles. It is ostensibly a detox and weight loss diet that claims to help you lose six pounds in just 24 hours.
During the Full Moon and New Moon phases, you must go on a juice or water fast. The flushing mechanisms in our bodies are allegedly stronger then, which means you flush toxins and water much faster than usual. It is based on Ayurvedic traditions that have been taken out of context. As a marijuana user, it is not likely to help unless the Full and New Moon phases happen to conveniently fall in the week before your drug test.
5 – Cryotherapy
You’ve probably heard that the heat from saunas and exercise help boost fat burning to detox your fat cells; you also sweat out the toxins in this bargain. Research suggests that extreme cold has the potential to do the same. Cryo-chambers have been used by athletes for decades as a means of quelling inflammation and speeding up the recovery process.
When you enter a cryochamber, your body is exposed to extreme cold by a chamber that uses liquid nitrogen. As well as decreasing inflammation, this process stimulates mitochondrial function. Intense cold destroys fat cells, which is why so many people use the process as a weight loss tool.
After your body is exposed to room temperature again, your blood vessels dilate, and your body benefits from an instant rush of oxygenated blood which pumps around the body. Your body’s metabolism is kick-started, and your body begins to break down large fat molecules. Toxins and other harmful substances are flushed out of your system, and you should, theoretically, benefit from a rapid detox. Whether it is useful for marijuana drug tests is another matter entirely. Cryotherapy is also very expensive, so you’ll need deep pockets.
Final Thoughts on Detoxing
There is no conclusive evidence that any of these methods work, and it seems highly unlikely that the Werewolf Diet will detox you any faster than a typical juice cleanse. However, if a drug test is looming and you are a marijuana user, desperate times call for unusual measures. It is not unheard of for people to try and use all of the above methods in conjunction.
This means taking up to four charcoal pills a day, scraping your tongue in the morning and at night, drinking lots of grape juice during a Full Moon cycle and paying for cryotherapy. If you pass the test and keep your job, it is probably money well spent, but we urge you not to rely on any of these methods in the expectation that it will help expel enough THC from your system to pass a urinalysis.