How to Not Look Like You’re High as Hell

Keep your high on the down-low


It can be fun embracing the beauty of cannabis. It can also be great for people who may have battled anxiety or depression for years and have finally found relief. For others, it may just be a great pastime, something that helps them to pass the hours and bond with friends.

Whatever your reasons for consuming cannabis, there’s a huge downside – toking up makes you look high as hell. To be fair, you are high as hell, but that doesn’t help you if you’re out in public and want to look – well, normal.

Simply put, you don’t want to advertise to your nosy neighbors or to a random passerby, “Hey, I just blazed a two-gram joint!” Even as many states are legalizing the use of marijuana – both as a medicinal and recreational substance – there’s still a lot of stigma out there. To avoid the stares, whispers, and judgment of people (including cops) who may not be as “accepting” as you are, you’ll want to look as normal as possible. Here’s how to not look high.

Tips on How to Not Look High

As we said, even if you live in a state like California or Colorado where smoking weed is about as accepted as drinking a cup of coffee, you’re still not going to want to be walking around looking like Chong from Up in Smoke. In fact, in most legalized places you can still get busted for being ‘under the influence’ out in public.

Without further ado, here is how to not look like you’re high:

Keep a Low Profile

This may seem a bit obvious, but after taking a hit or two, you may want to lay low for a while. If you can stay at your home or with friends, try to do this. Going out in the middle of the day for Cheez-Whiz may cause you to run afoul of people who will know you’re high. Once you’re in public, you don’t want to choose this as a time to get into a spirited debate. Act as inconspicuous as possible.

Try to find time during the day where you won’t have obligations, and then take care of your cannabis needs. If you are with a group of people, it’s best that it is a group you know and trust. Being around new people can be a nerve-wracking experience and can ramp up the physical effects of toking up.

Hydrate

The red, puffy eyes that are Exhibit A of “he/she is high as hell” can actually be counteracted by a little bit of hydration. Red eyes are often a consequence of lowered blood pressure, and lowered blood pressure means that the vessels and capillaries that supply your eyes with much-needed oxygen become dilated. In short, drinking water helps to get the red out.

It will also help to alleviate the dryness and itchiness of the eyes. Drink lots of water, and if that isn’t available, go for cranberry or even orange juice instead. The goal is to get fluids into your body to flush out some of the cannabinoids and get your high under control. If you’re still feeling as though your eyes are too red though, you can always fall back on Plan B and slip on a pair of sunglasses. You’ll not only look cool, but others won’t have a clue you’re high.

Calm Down

You’ve just taken a cool, smooth slide into relaxation mode when the doorbell rings. Still feeling pretty buzzy, you get up and realize it’s your in-laws! Now is not the time to panic. Try to stay calm and keep your heart rate from becoming elevated.

Stress can often be a trigger for a variety of physical, telltale signs. Head it off at the pass by reminding yourself that you’re calm and relaxed. There are a number of simple ways you can do this, but taking deep, long breaths is often the best and quickest way to calm down quickly. Here are some additional tips for how to relax and lower the heart rate in panicky situations.

Stash Your Stash

People can suspect that you’re high, but it’s a whole other thing if they know for sure. If you have unexpected guests, the last thing you’d want is to have your stash lying about. Try to prepare a quick plan in case anyone drops by and you’re blazed.

Thinking ahead will save you future headaches. Have a go-to place you can put your stash, whether it’s a drawer, closet or inconspicuous jar or hidden corner. Having a place prepared will save you the worry of trying to buy yourself time when there’s someone at your front door. Knowing exactly where you’ll place everything will also lower the chances that you’ll leave something out and someone will get suspicious.

Other Tips on How to Not Look Stoned

The above tips and techniques are the most obvious things you can do to not look like you’re stoned. Of course, there are more than one ways to skin a cat. For the younger folks out there, it might behoove yourselves to learn how to not look high in front of your parents. Here are some additional stoner strategies for covering up your blaze as efficiently as possible:

Make Some Scents

The same thing that we love about cannabis is the same thing that can often out you as being high as hell. Terpenes can assist the compounds in cannabis in their activation of receptors in the brain, which may help with a variety of physical symptoms. However, they are also responsible for the aroma that is distinctive to many strains.

To keep things from being too noticeable, stock up on fragrances that have a clean scent; think candles and incense. Body sprays, lotions, and powders can also go a long way in eliminating the odors that come with cannabis. Without wanting to insult your intelligence, it also helps if you open the windows or doors and ventilate the area. Try to also brush your teeth, chew gum or eat a few pieces of candy. This will freshen up your breath and eliminate the smell of your weed.

Take a Bite of Pepper

If you don’t want anyone to know you’re high and you’re feeling a bit paranoid, chew on a few pieces of black peppercorn. Peppercorn has a similar chemical structure to cannabis, and when you chomp on a few pieces, you release compounds that bind to similar sites in the brain, which can ease symptoms of paranoia and the signs of you being high. It is also a great way to curb an aggressive high.

Get Some Rest

If you have someone dropping by in an hour and you’re stoned, try to grab a cat nap. Believe it or not, getting some rest is actually one of the best ways to combat the feeling of being high. Just remember to set an alarm. Some strains are known to have a sedative effect and you don’t want to sleep past a meeting or through an important task. Grabbing a little bit of sleep can revitalize you and bring down your high a bit.

Take a Quick, Cold Shower

This may not feel like the best idea, but a cold shower may be exactly what you need to not feel or look as high. A short jaunt under the cold water triggers what is known as the “mammalian diving reflex.” This reflex lowers the heart rate and temperature, forcing your body to conserve its energy stores as well as its available oxygen, thus lowering the effect THC has on the body. If you can’t climb into a shower, try splashing your face with cold water. This will have a similar effect.

Get the Munchies

If you’re high and have the munchies, you may want to “give yourself the go-ahead.” Getting food into your system can help you not look as high. Researchers and users aren’t sure why this method may work, and evidence suggests that the fats in some foods (like pizza, fries, and burgers) may bind to cannabidiol, causing a decrease in many of the symptoms that make people look high. So don’t fight the feeling: Eat something.

A General Summary on How to Not Look Like You’re High

At the end of the day, if you find yourself confronted with a “situation” while high, just remember that in life, things happen. Don’t beat yourself up if you think you’ve blown your cover. Most people aren’t as focused on certain cues as you think, and often things aren’t as magnified as they may seem.

However, observing and acting on a few things will make many users, especially newbies, feel more secure. You may not be able to control everything that can happen after a smoking session, but if you’re wondering how to not look high, just remember there are some things you can do to alleviate potential problems ahead of time.